Transformers

July 27, 2007

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Michael Bay is considered by many to be the worst director on the planet. A valid explanation for this is his unfair helming of high-profile projects better left to visionary intellectuals. The Island, for instance, could have been a landmark of political film making in the hands of Mike Leigh or Oliver Stone. Instead we have a mindless action thriller in which the contemporary moral issues are sounded out by explosive helicopter crashes and Sean Bean’s accent. Similarly, the rights to Pearl Harbour fell dangerously into the hands of the tasteless Bay, leaving us with a style-over-substance mash up of one of the greatest battles in military history.

Yet there is a god. Transformers is simply THE project for the maverick director, a chaotic 2 hours of fast cars and robots from outer space. It may be based on a 1980’s cheese-fest cartoon, but the film is a slick and savvy blockbuster to rule them all. How did this happen? Whatever the answer, even the most sour and cynical among us would have to fight to dislike TransformersRead the rest of this entry »

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After suffering an agonizing break from the cinema to see to far less important matters, it was with great anticipation that I made the long-awaited return. And yet, I’m still now wondering whether or not I really did see the film. Perhaps I wasn’t paying attention properly. Maybe the man in the projection box mysteriously died. Whatever happened, I’m struggling to recall even one simple emotion or reaction I experienced watching Potter’s latest caper.

Harry is getting older, and it’s not looking good for the younger fan. At this difficult stage of teenage life, youthful excitement is replaced with misery. Sprightly, slapstick wizardry is swallowed by awkwardness and constant danger. The script is shit. Read the rest of this entry »

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BEAN: THE ULTIMATE DISASTER MOVIE

The history of film is truly a Pandora’s Box, full of more surprises than the New Year’s honours list. Often a project destined for greatness will be a crushing dissapointment, but it’s nice when the reverse happens. Ahead of the release of the long-awaited Simpsons movie, we examine a similar historic example and evaluate the situation for the world’s favourite jaundice-stricken family.  Read the rest of this entry »